Words that Made this Grown Up Mama Cry

The Summer-Camp Bus Pulls Away From the Curb
by Sharon Olds

Whatever he needs, he has or doesn't
have by now.
Whatever the world is going to do to him
it has started to do. With a pencil and two
Hardy Boys and a peanut butter sandwich and
grapes he is on his way, there is nothing
more we can do for him. Whatever is
stored in his heart, he can use, now.
Whatever he has laid up in his mind
he can call on. What he does not have
he can lack. The bus gets smaller and smaller, as one
folds a flag at the end of a ceremony,
onto itself and onto itself, until
only a heavy wedge remains.
Whatever his exuberant soul
can do for him, it is doing right now.
Whatever his arrogance can do
it is doing to him. Everything
that's been done to him, he will now do.
Everything that's been placed in him
will come out, now, the content of a trunk
unpacked and lined up on a bunk in the underpine

light.

We All Deserve a Second Chance

Especially if we get off on the wrong foot to begin with.

That was the case with Melissa Bank's Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing. It really didn't have a fair shot with me. I mean EVERYONE was raving about it and, quite frankly, overselling it and all that. When I read it, I was left unimpressed. I just didn't understand all the hype.

So, I had an opportunity to acquire it cheaply and decided to reread it. Maybe I missed something. I don't know if I am at a more focused point in my life that I could pay better attention to it, or what. But I actually liked it a lot better the second time around. She really captures the loneliness of dating and the loneliness that can creep into a relationship. There are some really good lines. So good that I wished I had marked them. But those of you that know me know I would never write in a book - that's vandalism!

Life's too short for me to go back and re-read books that I didn't love the first time around, but I guess I had a feeling. I certainly won't re-read anything I loved. I would hate to not have the lovely first impression that I had. Kinda like finishing a great meal with all the flavors still swirling on your tongue and you make the unwise choice to try Joe's dessert or taste Marla's coffee. It's ruined. That pleasant closure to you dining experience derailed. Forever.

My Little Easter Bunny

Pull Up a Chair and Stay a While

I think it's interesting that if you are pregnant, most HMOs will only charge one copay (that of your first appointment diagnosing your pregnancy) for the duration of your 'symptom'. When that 'symptom' is over back you go to paying for each office visit. So, with my insurance, it only cost me $15.00 to obtain prenatal care and deliver Emerson (via c-section, mind you).

In any other instance, I will required to make a copayment for any doctor visit no matter if I am seen multiple times regarding the same symptoms, diagnoses or treatments. Isn't that interesting? So, while it could be challenging to be ailed by more than one thing at one time, it can actually be a cost savings. Especially if your course of treatment cures you after that one visit. It's convenient too as you will have fewer trips to the ol' Doc.

Case in point: Yesterday, I was diagnosed with a double whammy - Pink eye and strep throat. Nice combo don't you think? I mean you have the nasty breath of an infected throat and the freakish red eye that would be perfect looking if only it were Halloween. Alas, it wasn't and here I was at urgent care at 7pm waiting to be seen.

It had started in the wee hours of Tuesday morning when I woke to my left eye gummed closed by leakage. I got up, pried my eyelids apart and noticing that the whites of my eyes had been replaced with a bright blood red hue. I chalked it up to one too many nights in a row sleeping with my contacts, yanked them out - after much tearing (that's whaah whaah, not rip rip) and struggle I got both out and safely in the trash and got my weary bum back to bed.

I arose at 6:30 a.m. only to find that my eye was no better and still pretty runny. No pain though, it just felt tired and it was just my left eye (hmmm, does TLC want to reunite?). I got ready for work and off I went. Comments were made throughout the morning and a few wonderful folks offered me drops and hand sanitizer. Their motives clearly mixed. The slight lump that was felt in my throat was gathering size as the day progressed and my eye was not looking better.

While attending an offsite event for work late Tuesday afternoon, a colleague of mine (higher on the totem pole than I and really a minor acquaintance) saw me and and asked if I was okay. I told him I was and that I thought I had pink eye and would be seeing my doctor tomorrow. He craned his neck down and closer to me to get a better look. He asked me to take off my glasses and while it seemed strange, he had a familiar way about this and I obliged. As he reached for my face, I made a pronounced shift. "You know I am an eye doctor, don't you?" Relief. "I figured as much considering you have had the greatest interest in my eye of everyone today."

Shortly thereafter, I made my way to my car and was en route home when I continued to be bothered by my throat. At the next stoplight, I took a look in my vanity mirror and sure enough - signs of infection. I detoured from home and made my way to urgent care. After about one and half hours time I had my diagnosis and my prescriptions. God love a ZPak antibiotic.

Now just more than 24 hours later, a day of rest, eye drops every four hours and my meds, I am on the mend. My eye is still red, although fading. I should be able to approach tomorrow with far less scrutiny from others.

Thank goodness the weekend is just a couple of days away.

Emerson - Toddler Cruiser

The Beauty of Words

I am a latecomer to poetry. I realize some never make it there (just like I never made it to Shakespeare or Milton and thus a major in English Lit never materialized). However, early, tardy, or hours late, I developed a liking and there are a few poems I have come across that are worth sharing. The first will be in this posting and it's a most dazzling poem by e. e. cummings. YES, it's the one that Maggie (Cameron Diaz) read to Rose (Toni Collette) at the end of In Her Shoes, but the chick flick based on chick lit should not negate it's beauty.

i carry your heart with me by e. e. cummings

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

Lyrics I am Loving Right Now

The songs are great too...oh and these are just segements not the whole song...


Home to Me by Josh Kelley

Cause' its you that I'm runnin to baby
It's you that I'm feelin for lately and
It's like a pain that never goes away
and it always starts today

Cause you are home to me, Cause you are home to me
Cause you are home to me, Cause you are home to me




Light Up My Room by Barenaked Ladies

If you question what I would do
To get over and be with you
Lift you up over everything
To light up my room, my room

The Power of Marketing

It's quite possible that I have taken things too far. It started with a simple invitation. Brightly colored and addressed to me, not RESIDENT. I mean, it was personal and it was only supposed to happen once.

But then another invitation came. Another dance. And now I am getting hand written cards thanking me for my recent purchases and checking into see how I am enjoying my new tote and attache.



What's a girl supposed to do when Coach offers her 25 percent off all fall AND spring purchases? First it was gloves and a wristlet (see right).





Next it was an attache and large tote (how totally freaking great is my white tote?). Consider me stylishly accessorized. Damn, thos marketers! I am powerless to their advances.

...Now if only my clothing were as up to date as my leather goods.

My Little Green Thumb

Taken today at 9 a.m.

Lara's Must List for April

April Musts (No Foolin'):

Read
The Feast of Love by Charles Baxter

Watch
American Idol on TV
Junebug on DVD
Failure to Launch on Screen

Listen
Dog-Eared Dream by Willy Porter