Tenis Anyone? Everyone?

That's not what you think. Nope, not at all. While you may find other typos in my blog, tenis is not one of them. Tenis, pron. tee-niss, rhymes with penis. Emerson knows he has one; and very likely he thinks you do too.

So how does he know this? See, all of those people that say things - They - say that you should always encourage your child to refer to their privates by their actual names and not embarassing cute names that will forever haunt them (like my brother's 'carrot' or my friend's college roommate who had a 'cookie').

Believe it or not, my not-even-two-and-a-half-year-old son has been coached to follow They, the experts.

He recently became SUPER aware of his penis to the point of always holding it at diaper changes and often while in the tub. So, following the wisdom of They, I started saying things like, "Honey, let go of your penis, mommy needs to clean you up and put on your new diaper." or "You can play with your penis once mommy leaves the room." (Really, why ignore the inevitable?).

So this morning, while experiencing the VERY BEGINNINGS of potty training, Emerson took off his diaper to sit on his potty. After nothing happened, he walked around for a while proclaiming to all who would listen that the potty was "My Potty!" I assured him it was indeed, his potty. Shortly thereafter, the possession changed to his 'tenis'. "My Tenis! My Tenis, Mommy!" Proud as only a mother can be, I again assured him. "Very good honey, that IS your penis."

And then, the tables turned.

"Mommy tenis?" as he pointed to my lap?

It took everything in me not to laugh.

"No, mommy doesn't have a penis."

"Mommy tenis?"

"No, honey. Mommy doesn't have a penis."

"Gamma tenis?"

"No, honey. Gamma doesn't have a penis."

"Tia tenis?"

"No, honey. Tia doesn't have a penis either. Only you and Daddy have a penis. (and here's where, if only for a split second, I contemplated full disclosure and decided to go for it) Mommy, Tia and I each have a vagina."

He stared at me, not quite sure what to say. After looking around the room, he marched away from me and shouted, "MY TENIS!" and sat down on his potty.