A funny thing was said on the way to somewhere

Kids are funny...

En route to school:

"If I lived in Africa, I would have to take the bus to school."

En route to the 'fridge:

"E, please don't slam the refrigerator door."

"But that's what real chefs do."

Why didn't I think of that?

Tonight, as we are about to go upstairs and do story time, I say to E, "Hang on, honey. I need to put my hair up. It's really..."

"Bothring you, mommy?" E said, helping me finish my thought.

"Yes, honey, that's right," I added.

"Well mommy, you should have just been born a boy. You should have told the workers when they were making you that you wanted to be a boy so you wouldn't have to keep growing your hair long."

"Oh, is that right?" I asked.

"Yes mommy." ...pause..

"Mommy, were you alive while you were being made to be born?"

Oh, how their minds work!

Crazybusybeautifulwonderful Weekend

I am still coming down from the energy and exhaustion of this great thanksgiving weekend! In a nutshell:

Friday
For the first-time ever, I ventured out on Black Friday. E, Claudia and I braved a local mall where it was of reasonable high patronage. No doors being broken down and certainly no fatalities (people really need to chill out no matter how many percentages they are going to save).

I didn't make any great deals, but did take care of 4 gifts and gave E some time in the play area.

When looking at the necklace Claudia got her mom and asking E if he thought it was pretty, his response was a heartfelt, "No, it's not pretty for boys."

We raced Claudia home, swung by the house got some stuff and ran to pick up his friend D and D's mom, Laura. I got an early Christmas treat from them - a box full of cool magazines, from a magazine swap she and I did - so we both got stuff that we never would get ourselves and it will be great down time to flip through the pages of the New Yorker, Paste or the Smithsonian. We took the boys out to the southeastern part of town to their favorite place - Pump it Up - where there was open bounce on Friday for two hours. A parents dream. Running, bouncing, squealing and chasing left the boys tired enough for us to take them to IKEA to hang in the play area while we shopped and I scored an early birthday gift for E - his first easel/art center.

At 5:00 we scooped the boys out of IKEA and raced them home and then to our place where I changed and took off for a little Lara time. Joining me for my free time was Claudia and Tristin and we saw what may be the best film of 2008 - MILK. Sean Penn was phenomenal as Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man to be elected to a public office when he won the City Supervisor seat in San Francisco in 1978. Gus Van Sant does a fantastic job editing his footage with archival footage and the film contains all of the elements of a fantastic feature: Compelling story, strong script, outstanding acting by the entire cast (and Penn needs the Oscar for this one) and a really well cast show, at that. We finished up the night catching up over Mexican food, a real treat indeed.

Saturday
I was able to sleep in and hit another movie on Saturday. This time it was with Claudia and Deejah as we took in Four Christmases, the new Reese Witherspoon, Vince Vaughn flick. I just have to say that Vince Vaughn needs to make more movies. He is so great and charming and funny and fabulous. John Favreau needs to be in more movies and the scene of them all playing Taboo needs to go down in history as one of the funniest - especially if you are a Taboo! player - as we all are.

Deejah had to split, so we took in another dose of Mexican fare at one of our favorite places that we don't venture too all that often because of its proximity (or lack there of) to us. It was devine. Blue corn shredded beef tacos, whole beans on the side and fabulous chips and salsa. Their food is prepared in the same style as in Mexico and outside of not having an ocean in our view, it was almost as if we were back at Las Palomas.

A trip to the mall for another quick gift and home for super-sized story time with E - FIVE books! He said after that he wanted five books every night. We'll see how willing he is to get in bed when I actually ask him too, and if he does, I have promised five stories per night. It is my favorite time of day.

I finished the night in the wee hours of the morning, finishing up my annual holiday cd and artwork. This year's a goodie for sure!

Sunday
The morning started a little rough - four hours of sleep will do that to you - but I made it to the mountain with Claudia and E had a play date with Gramma Kathy while T went in for holiday hours. Claudia and I took a different, less strenuous path today as we are both nursing exhaustion and colds. It proved to be just the right amount of effort and the weather couldn't have been better. We followed our effort with the usual trip and winding down at Starbucks.

Back to the house for tidying up, some lunch and then off to pick up E. He and I were both tired and snuggled and watched Toy Story. T made it home in time to string up the lights and only one trip to Target was required for an extra extension cord.

I also took time today to prepare our holiday card, order the cards and envelopes and do a couple of loads of laundry.

To look back at everything...wow... a lot got accomplished this weekend. It was a good mix of have-tos and want-tos and it left just enough time tonight to sqeeze in some reading.

Thanksgiving

Difficulties are opportunities to better things; they are stepping stones to greater experience. Perhaps someday you will be thankful for some temporary failure in a particular direction. When one door closes, another always opens.

-- Author Unknown

It has been a challenging year in virtually every area of my life. And with those challenges have come pain, frustration, perspective, reflection and even the beginnings of growth. I continue to be reminded, and rightfully so, that we can grow more through failure or pain, than success...that when one door closes another one opens. This year, in addition to being thankful for my health, dear family and friends, laughter, music and books in my life, a roof over my head and food on my table...I also choose to be thankful for the experiences that are pushing me, sometimes catapulting me, out of my comfort zone and into new, unchartered territory just waiting to be explored.

Sweet Sidney (1996-2008)

Just two and a half months ago we said goodbye to our beloved Sophie and now we do it again for Sidney. Today, Sidney joined her sister on the Rainbow Bridge. E said tonight, "I wish Sidney and Sophie didn't have to be in heaven and could stay here forever, mommy."

I couldn't agree more.

Sidney was our non-rescue Boxer. A bit of a prima-donna, she walked with a perfect gait, a spring in her step that could have made for a great show dog. But, we kept this pageant girl away from the stages and she was pampered just the same. A real heartbreaker, she could take you or leave you, but when she took you -- it was 110% loyalty and devotion. Of our three dogs, she was the talker, grunting and groaning in excitement to see you or to have some attention. She could also get away with anything, like dragging a bag of cantaloupe into the back yard, biting right in and looking up only as if to say, "Dang this stuff is good...want some?" when we slid open the arcadia door looking for her and the missing fruit.

She had a smaller stature than her siblings and at times seemed daintier. But, within seconds of releasing the dogs into the backyard, she was always the chaser, the instigator, the Boxer running full force at the others and raising up, punching and swinging those paws in an effort to play. She was mischievous and playful and so sweet.

Those terrific legs that carried her so gracefully and with strength are ultimately what failed her. In the last several weeks and months, they became weaker and weaker and couldn't carry her 12 year old body where it needed to go. Her quality of life was rapidly dwindling and we were forced with a tough decision. We are so fortunate to have had her in our lives...her always youthful spirit brightening every day. While we are so saddened to lose her, we know that tonight Sophie Girl has her sister back.

HALT!

For the past several months, when I go across the street to check our mail, E goes with me and "keeps the street safe" for me as a crossing guard. He walks with me and in the middle of the street stand with his arms outstretched with his palms up an facing out as if to tell a pedestrian, bicyclist or motorist: STOP! My mom needs to get our mail.

Neighbors have thought it cute and smiled. I think one even waved. Just think what they are going to do now, when they see how official he's become (thanks to Gramma Kathy).


It looks pretty good belted, too. And I think it goes without saying, but I will say it anyway... He LOVES it.

Achievement

A few months ago I made a commitment to start being more active and eat better. It's a commitment I have made to myself so many times I can't remember. And, it's a commitment I have broken more times than I care to share. There's something different this time around though. I have relaxed, for sure. I am allowing myself to make mistakes and have abolished the following phrase... I have cheated on my diet. I even, dare I say, have come to look forward to my almost daily walk after work with a friend and colleague as well as a weekly hike with my dear friend Claudia.

Now, I am not a hiker. I am what you call clumsy and am very prone to fall, and have--many times. Twice while carrying my dear son (one of the times we fell down the stairs in a restaurant and slid right under the table of some unsuspecting but very shocked restaurant patrons). Come to think of it, I have fallen more times just walking around than while actually hiking and that could be the reason for my fear of falling (not of heights, of falling) and the fact that I just don't have a good sense of balance. Then there's the whole exercise part of it. I don't like hiking because I could fall AND it's really hard work.

Despite all of this, I have taken up hiking. I should disclaim here that the trail is paved, but it is also VERY steep. In fact, when visiting my city's Parks and Recs Web site, I found that the trail Claudia and I have been taking is "Recommended for hikers only", is "Moderate to Difficult", and is a mile and a half. It also kicked my butt the first time I tried it with some coworkers one night after work. You know the kind... the kind who are fit and skipping up the mountain while I lift my legs of stone and can taste blood in the back of my throat. Embarrassingly, I had to stop before the halfway point and have them go ahead while I stopped and took in the views. It was that day that I said, "I am going to conquer this mountain."

I enlisted Claudia for companionship and she had a similar first experience. We just took it slow, took a lot of breaks and pushed ourselves a little more each time we hit the trail. I am pleased to report we made it to the top today. It was an incredible feeling, as I haven't ever done anything like that before (yes, there was the walking marathon I did in 2002, but hiking? That's in another category for me). The trail was peppered with folks of all ages. We got passed a couple of times by a guy in his seventies who was running up the hill, sweat streaming down his face while his breathing remained steady and unlabored. There was the family with two boys, one 7 and one 4 with the youngest complaining very early on that his feet hurt, and yet he found his way to the top. And our favorite: The group, upon finishing, and saying to one another...Let's meet for breakfast at the gay Denny's. We always thought the moniker was shared amongst a small group, but as it turns out, the said spot is known universally (or at least within our city's community of hikers) as gay Dennys. We laughed as we continued to catch our breath and make our way up.

When we finally made it, of course I had Claudia help me document it. Not only was it a personal achievement, it was a beautiful day. Sunny and in the low 70s. I am proud of myself. For all the times I have lamented my size, my body or its limitations, today I learned just what it can do, and how grateful I am for it.

Brunch and Munch

My book club started a sub (book) club that meets on the Sunday after book club. The intent was to read and talk about A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle and heavily promoted by Oprah. Apparently 2 megagazillion people have read it, blogged about it, skyped about it and are forever changed by it.

We have found it to be a bit too much for Sunday morning and have preferred to focus on the food and the company. And the food. And with food this savory looking, how could you - even for a second - spend any time talking about the ego and the pain-body and the unconscious mind? Yeah, I thought you would agree.


Top Row: Ghetto-fabulous Monkey Bread ala Brett; Tomato, Mango, Cilantro Salad courtesy of Lisa; Coffee Cake de Tina. Bottom Row: Papaya, Pomegranate, Onion and Spinach Salad with homemade honey dijon dressing, Bacon and Carmelized Onion Tarte both from Chef Tina. Finally, a full plate - my own creation.

All of this was served with liberally champagned mimosas. MMMMMMgood.

So, Tina is a bit of a gourmet and we are all the more delighted, stuffed and heavier for it. And to think my friends teased me for snapping up pics of the food, but looking at them again almost brings the flavors back. Almost.

Bend it Like Smitham

Okay, so he's not a professional yet. But he sure is having a ball in his soccer clinic.

Life in the Big City

Today, I joined E, his classmates, teachers and a few parents on a field trip. After walking with with the 20 pre-schoolers about a quarter of a mile we caught a city bus and went to one of the nicer city parks for play time and snacks. E has wanted to ride a city bus for months, and often asks if we can do it at night. If only he knew better - the city bus is adventurous enough during daylight hours, forget about after dark. Forgive me - I digress...

The trip was exciting, leaving most of the kids smiling, wide-eyed as the bus felt like a bit of a roller coaster careening over the dips and valleys of 7th street. The day was perfect, too. Not to hot, not too cool. Just right.

It reminded me that the seemingly mundane, when viewed through the eyes of a child, is anything but.

Today

Sunday Afternoon

It doesn't get much better than the mid-80s, a breeze and having a boy who wants to go hit a few balls.

Girls' Night Out

A gal should always have some friends she can count on for a great night out on the town. A time for laughter, creativity, commiseration, good food, good drinks and more laughter. Five of my sweet book clubbing friends joined me for some pottery painting and an extra arrived for noshing at the fabulous Bamboo Club as a post-birthday treat. Although the invitation explicitly said no gifts, I was treated to some luxury slippers, lotions, new music, dinner drinks and appetizers--all of which are undoubtedly great--but, the camaraderie was second to none. With all that is going on in this crazy thing called life, I couldn't have asked for a better treat! How fortunate I am to be surrounded by such caring, compassionate, interesting and total goof-ball, crazy-fun women who can paint themselves some mean pottery and put back a fare share of wine and Asian cuisine! Post pottery glazing pics will follow next week!

Boo 2008

For all the sweet treats my sweet treat likes to eat, you would have thought for certain he would have canvassed the neighborhood three or four times and been ticketed with a cruising violation. But as it turns out, our little Darth Vader wanted to hand it out rather than take a handout. Maybe the first sign of a generous spirit or of being in charge. He took candy distribution seriously, following the one piece per person rule and refused to pass candy over to Uncle Scott who kept trying to sneak a mini Snickers or Twix bar.

We continued to be amazed by the number of kids who failed to say trick or treat or even thank you, and by those who did.

Or the number of adults not in costume expecting candy.

Or the number of tweens dressed far to sexily for their age. A gaggle of girls as trampy versions of Minnie Mouse, Cinderella, Dorothy and Sleeping Beauty were too much.

The highlight of the night had to be when a 7 foot Elmo came up the drive (which E loved) or when Scott confused a teenage boy for a girl (and no, the boy wasn't in drag or dressed up as a female character).

We ran out of candy by 7:45, ran inside, shut off all the lights and folks continued to knock and ring the bell!

The neighborhood was still teeming with residents and folks from subdivisions afar. E changed into his supercool Halloween t-shirt courtesy of Papa Jim and Gramma Lynn and we all escaped for some tasty Mexican food at our new favorite spot - Carolinas.

Until next year...

It's only taken me a year

...to find a centerpiece for my dining room table (after having purchased it over 4 years ago). It's a long story.

Anyway, after looking for countless hours at countless sites and storefronts. I have settled on something without actually settling and that feels good.

It also feels good to have something bright and fresh looking as we go into winter. Sure, it's winter in the desert, but it's winter, nonetheless.

Another Year

I am closer to 40 than I am to 30, closer to 50 than I am to 20. The time is going by fast, but I am so fortunate to have the people I have in my life and the experiences I am having - even the more challenging ones. They make a day at the spa and a night at a new favorite restaurant with some of my favorite people all the more enjoyable. The truffle fries don't hurt either.

Peek-a-boo Pumpkin

Gramma Kathy planned a fun day of holiday crafts for her and her favorite grandson. After purchasing all the supplies and setting everything up, his truly only wanted to play peek-a-boo. Gramma, on the other hand, made some pretty cute and festive pumpkins.

Getting Buzzed

Last night, or less than one week before E will be participating in a super cool underwater photo adventure (that only happens once a year and has been booked for almost a month), he decided in complete cold blood to cut off all of his bangs.

Do boys even have bangs?

As nice as a bang-less, jacked up receding hairline could be on a 4-1/2 year old, I had to intervene and bring some semblance or attempt at a straight line to his hair line.

After sleeping on it, I decided the only thing we could do was shave all of his hair off. I also decided to document his version of an extreme makeover and my version - courtesy of a trained professional (my hairdresser was kind enough to buzz his head for free). As typical, the before pictures resemble a mug shot and the after, well, better than a mugshot.


I guess the Before version isn't THAT bad. Just reminiscent of MadTV's Stuart. And the After shows that this could be a great look for him in the summer when the temp starts heating up. Or if he wants to reprise River Phoenix's role in Stand by Me.

Sweet Sophie Girl (1995* - 2008)

Friday afternoon we had to say goodbye to a dear friend. Sophie Girl was our first pet, our first four-legged child. We didn't know her background, hence the asterisk for her birth year. She found us in 1996 right before a fire at our apartment complex would leave us displaced the night before we were to adopt her. She was a rescue dog, abandoned twice before. Her coat was ratty and her bones jutted through at odd and awkward angles. But she had a smile and a spirit in her that told us she just needed love. We brought her into our temporary housing while we sorted through smoke damaged tupperwear and clothing and started sorting out our life.

She had some definite spooks, which we think came from her prior life. She didn't like the rattle pans made when coming out of cabinets. Overhead movement - like when we would repeatedly bump into the low-hanging light fixture of our temporary apartment - freaked her out. And when we decided it was time to get a house and not go back to apartment living post-fire, she was certain she would be of the items left behind. Like she had been before.

She started to learn that she would never be left behind, she was too special, too important. She became a Daddy's girl and a Momma's girl and took to her new sister Sidney really well, her new brother Sammy a year later not so well at first and her first human sibling E (almost 8 years later) tremendously well. Sophie was patient, loyal to the end, happy, well loved and a lover herself.

We will miss you Sweet Sophie Girl.

Batter Up!

Today we took E to his first ball game. It was the Dbacks vs. LA and it was an eventful day at the old ball game:

- E asked for his food the second we sat down.
- The Dodgers scored 3 runs in the first inning, the Dbacks didn't score.
- E asked for his ice cream the second he finished his corn dog and popcorn.
- The Dbacks scored one in the 3rd inning. The Dodgers were up by 4.
- A presumably drunk fan jumped the wall and attempted to run across the outfield waving his Beat L.A. sign. He was tackled and forceably removed before making it across.
- T took E to the play area as a diversion for the kiddo who wasn't really into the game. The play area had a line wrapped around it ensuring entry after at least a half hour wait.
- Returning to the seats, I was presented with a teary toddler who was angry at his dad, "I WANTED TO WAIT IN LINE. I WANTED TO GO TO THE PLAY AREA. DADDY WOULDN'T LET ME GO!" I have never known this child to wait for anything.
- After sulking into his seat, kicking his feet and continued rants about the play area, we left the ballpark in style.
- Dodgers won, 8-1.