Late Start

I shouldn't be starting my day after 7, but that's the rut I am in right now.

Half-Assed is Still a Big Deal

So there's this fun, cool, intense, creative online photo project known as Project 365, where you take a picture every day of the year and upload to a place like Flickr and share your photowares in an online community. I have been intrigued by this project for a couple of years and made myself promise I would do this in 2009. Then 2009 came in with the usual uneventful fanfare of another year and I realized on January 12 that I missed the start. As friends and family can attest, I am a stickler for rules and process and formality and all that crap, so I let the notion pass. Plus, while cool, there's a big commitment to it and one for which I have obviously vacillated. But then I had an idea. An idea that would work in my rules-based head.

I could do this project for half the year.

It would be half the commitment and perhaps half-assed in the minds of the die-hard, repeat offender Project 365-ers. But more my style considering I have competed in in two half marathons which I enjoyed and one full which I abhorred. So, half-time, half-assed seemed wholly perfect.

I googled "What day is the exact middle day of the year?" And the answer was July 2, in a non-leap year. And then the challenge started to sink in and I started thinking.

Thinking about how busy life feels. How I am not sure I can manage all that I have chosen, or what has chosen me. And yet, this daily commitment to picture taking, selecting a single image to represent the day and subsequent blogging seems like an opportunity to slow down, an opportunity to capture the every day moments that when not paying attention can feel mundane or routine and are, in actuality, the sum total of this life.

That realization resonated with me in a way that was equal parts calming and disquieting. Contemplation continued. I posted the idea on my Facebook wall and got a lot of positive feedback (including a willing partner in Deejah), and I found myself making a commitment to both my friend and myself.

I am not entirely sure I need any more challenges right now, however, I do know that I need to create something. I have the urge to capture perspective and catalog the journey I am on. And for those reasons it feels like a good thing to do.

Here I go...

Practice Meet - An Exercise in Controlled Chaos

There had to be 200 children there tonight. The pool was absolutely teeming with people and E was thrilled I brought his swim shirt.

"I am not sure if the place hosting the meet is outdoors, and I don't want you to get sunburned."

"But even if it's indoor Mommy it's okay for me to wear my swim shirt." He acknowledged with a tinge of comfort.

I took a deep breath and we worked our way through the crowd. My purse, camera bag and E's tote bumped the heads of many a child as we navigated the compact area. I was apparently the only working mother in the lot, or the only one not smart enough to leave work more than an hour early to change for the outdoor meet and bring my own chair.

E was eager to jump in the pool, but I hesitated. I wanted more information and to get my bearings. Fortunately, right at the moment E might have broken down after his 49th request to get in the pool, the swim school owner spoke to the crowd. He explained the under sixers would warm up and then the adults would head into the gym for an info meeting. It was all a little overwhelming and yet contained. Somehow.

E warmed up with the others and joined me for the meeting while the 7 and olders did their warm ups. The swim team would work like an actual swim team, children would ribbon, based on time, but were not required to go to meets or stay at them for their entirety - especially the younger ones - realizing that the experience is long and a bit intense.

Relief.

And, while there was some competition, this was supposed to be fun. The coaches were committed to it and the parents should be too. The owner even said his kids used to swim so they could get every ribbon. Some meets, the goal was actually 5th place.

Relief, part two.

By the time the info meeting was over, it was time for the under sixers to swim their first practice meet. Girls went first and E left his lane line up and cut through the crowd to get to me.

"Mommy, I don't think I can do this."

"Oh, sweetie, of course you can! I watched you in practice last night and you were great!"

"I just don't think I can do it."

"Can you try just one race? I don't care if you win your race - I just want you to have fun and try your best. That's all I want you to do. Can we try one?"

Hesitation.

"What if I come over and stand with you and your teammates until it's time for you to swim. Would you like that?"

He nodded and grabbed my hand. Back we went, fighting the crowd, fighting to find our place. I engaged his lead coach for some support and she did a great job encouraging him. She also found a spot for me where I could watch him and he could see me when it was his turn. After what seemed like forever, he was pushing off the side of the pool and tackling his first freestyle race.

Try his best, he did! He was steady and straight and made it to the end. Fifth place for a first timer, who was swimming against some 6 year olds on their second swim team, made this mama more than proud and I even got a smile out of the kiddo.

He agreed to go back into the line and await his next race while I stood in a different line to get his ribbon. It was so much to take in. Especially when he decided he was done before the next race, but he couldn't find me. Scared and tear stained, I felt him tug at my leg as I was just about to sit down and look for him. After a number of hugs and kisses and "It's alright... I was here the whole time," we decided to scoot out before the second race.

We celebrated his success over Subway sandwiches and some good bedtime stories. He's ready to try practice again tomorrow; but, we may go easy on the meets.

And that's just fine with me.

Self Consciousness: The Early Years

Tonight, E started his first-ever swim team.

The schedule had me tired at registration: Three nights per week, from 7:30 to 8:30 p.m. and meets on Thursdays at 6.

He's five. And, while I don't want to push him, the exercise, camaraderie, teamwork and individual effort are good things to start instilling. An opportunity to give him a taste of success, commitment and follow through and the heartbreak of defeat. Unlike T-Ball, not everyone will win.

Tonight was the first practice. Kids ranged in age from 5 - 13. There were relaxed faces of veterans (one girl was starting her fourth summer swim team), excited looks from eager, unsuspecting ones and looks of discomfort from some, including my little guy who stood in line for the pool with his hand squarely covering his tummy tube.

I called him over and asked him what was wrong, why was he covering his tube.

"Because I don't like having it, Mommy."

Wow.

This is big. Bigger than first-time swim team.

He's had his G-Tube since he can remember and was never bothered by it. He thought it was cool when Mommy, Daddy or Gramma Kathy had to come to school to give him a drink. Now, at 5, it's a cause for concern, embarrassment, anxiety.

"Honey, there's nothing wrong with you having a tube. It's just something that makes you different, and it's perfectly okay for you to be different. That's what makes us special."

"I wish you would have brought my swim shirt." He said, his head drooping.

I have to admit; I wasn't prepared for this. Not now. Not this soon. I mumbled something about him being okay and that he would have a great practice and encouraged him to scoot along to his lane.

He was great during practice and perked up a little.

His freestyle has improved a lot over the recent months and Coach Sean worked with the under sixers on their glide into the back stroke. There was a lot of "Go... Go... Go... Keep moving... Keep moving... Good job!... Good job!" echoing throughout the swim school and I could only help but be a little sad. Nostalgic for the time when things just were and there wasn't a value or judgment placed on being different.

The hour of practice went by fast and we found ourselves cleaning him up in the common area.

"Can we go into one of the locker rooms to dress, Mommy?"

"Why sweetie?"

"I don't want anyone to see my tube."

This time, I was a little more prepared.

"E, your tube is fine. Did you know that I actually think that having a tube is pretty cool?"

"Why, Mommy?"

"Because you can drink water faster than anyone I know! And when you do it? It goes straight into your tummy! While everyone else's drink has to go in their mouths, down their throats, through the esophagus and then into the tummy. With you, it's a straight shot!"

"Oh."

"So, what are the names of some of your swim team friends?" An attempt at diversion.

"I don't know."

"Maybe next time you can ask one of them their names."

"I don't want to Mommy."

"Okay. Let's get dressed and get you home. It's 8:30 and it's late."

He became enamored with the coaches and their process of covering the pool lanes and closing down shop. I struggled a bit to pull him away and sweep him away into the night and home to sweet dreams.

We walked to the car.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, honey?"

"I can drink really fast. Faster than anyone because I have a tube."

"That's right, baby. Faster than anyone else."

To be continued...

Hopes and Dreams

Sunday night, after days and days of E saying, "Mommy, mommy! We have to write my hopes and dreams for school." and me saying, "Honey, I think it is supposed to be the parents writing their hopes and dreams for the children." followed by a whine and, "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo. It's my hopes and dreams, Mommy. Mine. MYHOPESANDDREAMSMOMMMMMMMMMMMY.... MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE."

I acquiesced.

E thought very seriously of all he ever wants out of his life and carefully chose his words. This is what I captured, verbatim:

"When I am a grown up, I want to be a baseball player. On my birthday, I want my mommy and daddy to get me a good present. I want my mommy to get a good night sleep tonight. I love my mommy and daddy. Those are my hopes and dreams."

I am so glad this kid knows at such a young age how important sleep is for his mama.

Oh, and the post-it note on his sign out sheet Monday afternoon said:

"Thank you for turning in E's hopes and dreams, but we need the submission to be what the parents want for their children."

Didn't I just say that?

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

Today was a milestone day: E's first at bat in an official T-Ball game! He's officially a member of the National Youth Sports League's Bears Team.

It was, in a word, positivelylaughoutloudhystericallyfun.

Just as E is a newcomer to the T-Ball set, so was I. While the kids looked official in their uniforms, it turns out that they keep things pretty fun and easy for these 4-5 year olds, kinda like baseball lite. There are no outs, no points, no winners, no losers, just attempts to: bat, run the bases, catch grounders, watch a ball fly by you, miss a ball flying by you as you stare aimlessly into the sky or adjust your cap or tug at your sleeve. The teams are parent coached, and, so far there aren't any crazy competitive parents thinking their precocious preschooler is ready for the majors. Each team got to go to bat twice and the dads on the field were really encouraging of the kids to keep their eye on the ball, hit, run to the correct base and throw to first if they had a chance to catch one.

E got to "hit a home run" solely because he was the last batter for his team during the first round. And, not that I am keeping score or anything, but it was actually a grand slam since the bases were loaded.

You can imagine how proud I was. He was most proud of dirtying up his uniform.

Required Reading

The Book Thief is an amazing book and so important. Not quite sure why it's being marketed as young adult, as the themes are definitely adult with wartime, Nazi Germany. However, the YA label should not deter adults from reading it. It's a book that will grab you and carry you on the journey with it's main character and insightful narrator. It's harrowing and beautiful and devastating. It must be read.

Chi-WHO?-Ly?

Chihuly. That's Who! 

After a busy morning of swimming, a fun play date at a train park with Beth, Dawn, Sharon and Yumiko, a race across town to the WRONG T-ball information session and then across town AGAIN to the right one, this momma took some much needed personal time to attend the Chihuly glass art exhibit at the Botanical Gardens with Claudia and Judy. 

The exhibit is, in a word, spectacular.

We had the prime reservation time of 4-8 p.m., allowing us to see his glass sculptures during prime sunlight and at night, when the garden lights the pieces and you can really see a new and different kind of exquisiteness. We were fortunate to get there within 30 minutes of the butterfly exhibit closing. The butterflies, of which the Gardens have at least 16 varieties, only live for about 2 weeks. They were all a flutter and rather friendly, landing on the shoulders, heads and arms of many. 

We thought we would only stay for a couple of hours, and as it turns out, we had to be asked to leave at 8:15, after the Gardens closed. We wrapped up the night, college style with some warm pie at Village Inn. It was a darn-near perfect day. 

For more about artist Dale Chihuly, visit www.chihuly.com

Meow!

A funny thing was said on the way to somewhere

Kids are funny...

En route to school:

"If I lived in Africa, I would have to take the bus to school."

En route to the 'fridge:

"E, please don't slam the refrigerator door."

"But that's what real chefs do."

Why didn't I think of that?

Tonight, as we are about to go upstairs and do story time, I say to E, "Hang on, honey. I need to put my hair up. It's really..."

"Bothring you, mommy?" E said, helping me finish my thought.

"Yes, honey, that's right," I added.

"Well mommy, you should have just been born a boy. You should have told the workers when they were making you that you wanted to be a boy so you wouldn't have to keep growing your hair long."

"Oh, is that right?" I asked.

"Yes mommy." ...pause..

"Mommy, were you alive while you were being made to be born?"

Oh, how their minds work!

Crazybusybeautifulwonderful Weekend

I am still coming down from the energy and exhaustion of this great thanksgiving weekend! In a nutshell:

Friday
For the first-time ever, I ventured out on Black Friday. E, Claudia and I braved a local mall where it was of reasonable high patronage. No doors being broken down and certainly no fatalities (people really need to chill out no matter how many percentages they are going to save).

I didn't make any great deals, but did take care of 4 gifts and gave E some time in the play area.

When looking at the necklace Claudia got her mom and asking E if he thought it was pretty, his response was a heartfelt, "No, it's not pretty for boys."

We raced Claudia home, swung by the house got some stuff and ran to pick up his friend D and D's mom, Laura. I got an early Christmas treat from them - a box full of cool magazines, from a magazine swap she and I did - so we both got stuff that we never would get ourselves and it will be great down time to flip through the pages of the New Yorker, Paste or the Smithsonian. We took the boys out to the southeastern part of town to their favorite place - Pump it Up - where there was open bounce on Friday for two hours. A parents dream. Running, bouncing, squealing and chasing left the boys tired enough for us to take them to IKEA to hang in the play area while we shopped and I scored an early birthday gift for E - his first easel/art center.

At 5:00 we scooped the boys out of IKEA and raced them home and then to our place where I changed and took off for a little Lara time. Joining me for my free time was Claudia and Tristin and we saw what may be the best film of 2008 - MILK. Sean Penn was phenomenal as Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man to be elected to a public office when he won the City Supervisor seat in San Francisco in 1978. Gus Van Sant does a fantastic job editing his footage with archival footage and the film contains all of the elements of a fantastic feature: Compelling story, strong script, outstanding acting by the entire cast (and Penn needs the Oscar for this one) and a really well cast show, at that. We finished up the night catching up over Mexican food, a real treat indeed.

Saturday
I was able to sleep in and hit another movie on Saturday. This time it was with Claudia and Deejah as we took in Four Christmases, the new Reese Witherspoon, Vince Vaughn flick. I just have to say that Vince Vaughn needs to make more movies. He is so great and charming and funny and fabulous. John Favreau needs to be in more movies and the scene of them all playing Taboo needs to go down in history as one of the funniest - especially if you are a Taboo! player - as we all are.

Deejah had to split, so we took in another dose of Mexican fare at one of our favorite places that we don't venture too all that often because of its proximity (or lack there of) to us. It was devine. Blue corn shredded beef tacos, whole beans on the side and fabulous chips and salsa. Their food is prepared in the same style as in Mexico and outside of not having an ocean in our view, it was almost as if we were back at Las Palomas.

A trip to the mall for another quick gift and home for super-sized story time with E - FIVE books! He said after that he wanted five books every night. We'll see how willing he is to get in bed when I actually ask him too, and if he does, I have promised five stories per night. It is my favorite time of day.

I finished the night in the wee hours of the morning, finishing up my annual holiday cd and artwork. This year's a goodie for sure!

Sunday
The morning started a little rough - four hours of sleep will do that to you - but I made it to the mountain with Claudia and E had a play date with Gramma Kathy while T went in for holiday hours. Claudia and I took a different, less strenuous path today as we are both nursing exhaustion and colds. It proved to be just the right amount of effort and the weather couldn't have been better. We followed our effort with the usual trip and winding down at Starbucks.

Back to the house for tidying up, some lunch and then off to pick up E. He and I were both tired and snuggled and watched Toy Story. T made it home in time to string up the lights and only one trip to Target was required for an extra extension cord.

I also took time today to prepare our holiday card, order the cards and envelopes and do a couple of loads of laundry.

To look back at everything...wow... a lot got accomplished this weekend. It was a good mix of have-tos and want-tos and it left just enough time tonight to sqeeze in some reading.

Thanksgiving

Difficulties are opportunities to better things; they are stepping stones to greater experience. Perhaps someday you will be thankful for some temporary failure in a particular direction. When one door closes, another always opens.

-- Author Unknown

It has been a challenging year in virtually every area of my life. And with those challenges have come pain, frustration, perspective, reflection and even the beginnings of growth. I continue to be reminded, and rightfully so, that we can grow more through failure or pain, than success...that when one door closes another one opens. This year, in addition to being thankful for my health, dear family and friends, laughter, music and books in my life, a roof over my head and food on my table...I also choose to be thankful for the experiences that are pushing me, sometimes catapulting me, out of my comfort zone and into new, unchartered territory just waiting to be explored.

Sweet Sidney (1996-2008)

Just two and a half months ago we said goodbye to our beloved Sophie and now we do it again for Sidney. Today, Sidney joined her sister on the Rainbow Bridge. E said tonight, "I wish Sidney and Sophie didn't have to be in heaven and could stay here forever, mommy."

I couldn't agree more.

Sidney was our non-rescue Boxer. A bit of a prima-donna, she walked with a perfect gait, a spring in her step that could have made for a great show dog. But, we kept this pageant girl away from the stages and she was pampered just the same. A real heartbreaker, she could take you or leave you, but when she took you -- it was 110% loyalty and devotion. Of our three dogs, she was the talker, grunting and groaning in excitement to see you or to have some attention. She could also get away with anything, like dragging a bag of cantaloupe into the back yard, biting right in and looking up only as if to say, "Dang this stuff is good...want some?" when we slid open the arcadia door looking for her and the missing fruit.

She had a smaller stature than her siblings and at times seemed daintier. But, within seconds of releasing the dogs into the backyard, she was always the chaser, the instigator, the Boxer running full force at the others and raising up, punching and swinging those paws in an effort to play. She was mischievous and playful and so sweet.

Those terrific legs that carried her so gracefully and with strength are ultimately what failed her. In the last several weeks and months, they became weaker and weaker and couldn't carry her 12 year old body where it needed to go. Her quality of life was rapidly dwindling and we were forced with a tough decision. We are so fortunate to have had her in our lives...her always youthful spirit brightening every day. While we are so saddened to lose her, we know that tonight Sophie Girl has her sister back.

HALT!

For the past several months, when I go across the street to check our mail, E goes with me and "keeps the street safe" for me as a crossing guard. He walks with me and in the middle of the street stand with his arms outstretched with his palms up an facing out as if to tell a pedestrian, bicyclist or motorist: STOP! My mom needs to get our mail.

Neighbors have thought it cute and smiled. I think one even waved. Just think what they are going to do now, when they see how official he's become (thanks to Gramma Kathy).


It looks pretty good belted, too. And I think it goes without saying, but I will say it anyway... He LOVES it.

Achievement

A few months ago I made a commitment to start being more active and eat better. It's a commitment I have made to myself so many times I can't remember. And, it's a commitment I have broken more times than I care to share. There's something different this time around though. I have relaxed, for sure. I am allowing myself to make mistakes and have abolished the following phrase... I have cheated on my diet. I even, dare I say, have come to look forward to my almost daily walk after work with a friend and colleague as well as a weekly hike with my dear friend Claudia.

Now, I am not a hiker. I am what you call clumsy and am very prone to fall, and have--many times. Twice while carrying my dear son (one of the times we fell down the stairs in a restaurant and slid right under the table of some unsuspecting but very shocked restaurant patrons). Come to think of it, I have fallen more times just walking around than while actually hiking and that could be the reason for my fear of falling (not of heights, of falling) and the fact that I just don't have a good sense of balance. Then there's the whole exercise part of it. I don't like hiking because I could fall AND it's really hard work.

Despite all of this, I have taken up hiking. I should disclaim here that the trail is paved, but it is also VERY steep. In fact, when visiting my city's Parks and Recs Web site, I found that the trail Claudia and I have been taking is "Recommended for hikers only", is "Moderate to Difficult", and is a mile and a half. It also kicked my butt the first time I tried it with some coworkers one night after work. You know the kind... the kind who are fit and skipping up the mountain while I lift my legs of stone and can taste blood in the back of my throat. Embarrassingly, I had to stop before the halfway point and have them go ahead while I stopped and took in the views. It was that day that I said, "I am going to conquer this mountain."

I enlisted Claudia for companionship and she had a similar first experience. We just took it slow, took a lot of breaks and pushed ourselves a little more each time we hit the trail. I am pleased to report we made it to the top today. It was an incredible feeling, as I haven't ever done anything like that before (yes, there was the walking marathon I did in 2002, but hiking? That's in another category for me). The trail was peppered with folks of all ages. We got passed a couple of times by a guy in his seventies who was running up the hill, sweat streaming down his face while his breathing remained steady and unlabored. There was the family with two boys, one 7 and one 4 with the youngest complaining very early on that his feet hurt, and yet he found his way to the top. And our favorite: The group, upon finishing, and saying to one another...Let's meet for breakfast at the gay Denny's. We always thought the moniker was shared amongst a small group, but as it turns out, the said spot is known universally (or at least within our city's community of hikers) as gay Dennys. We laughed as we continued to catch our breath and make our way up.

When we finally made it, of course I had Claudia help me document it. Not only was it a personal achievement, it was a beautiful day. Sunny and in the low 70s. I am proud of myself. For all the times I have lamented my size, my body or its limitations, today I learned just what it can do, and how grateful I am for it.

Brunch and Munch

My book club started a sub (book) club that meets on the Sunday after book club. The intent was to read and talk about A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle and heavily promoted by Oprah. Apparently 2 megagazillion people have read it, blogged about it, skyped about it and are forever changed by it.

We have found it to be a bit too much for Sunday morning and have preferred to focus on the food and the company. And the food. And with food this savory looking, how could you - even for a second - spend any time talking about the ego and the pain-body and the unconscious mind? Yeah, I thought you would agree.


Top Row: Ghetto-fabulous Monkey Bread ala Brett; Tomato, Mango, Cilantro Salad courtesy of Lisa; Coffee Cake de Tina. Bottom Row: Papaya, Pomegranate, Onion and Spinach Salad with homemade honey dijon dressing, Bacon and Carmelized Onion Tarte both from Chef Tina. Finally, a full plate - my own creation.

All of this was served with liberally champagned mimosas. MMMMMMgood.

So, Tina is a bit of a gourmet and we are all the more delighted, stuffed and heavier for it. And to think my friends teased me for snapping up pics of the food, but looking at them again almost brings the flavors back. Almost.

Bend it Like Smitham

Okay, so he's not a professional yet. But he sure is having a ball in his soccer clinic.

Life in the Big City

Today, I joined E, his classmates, teachers and a few parents on a field trip. After walking with with the 20 pre-schoolers about a quarter of a mile we caught a city bus and went to one of the nicer city parks for play time and snacks. E has wanted to ride a city bus for months, and often asks if we can do it at night. If only he knew better - the city bus is adventurous enough during daylight hours, forget about after dark. Forgive me - I digress...

The trip was exciting, leaving most of the kids smiling, wide-eyed as the bus felt like a bit of a roller coaster careening over the dips and valleys of 7th street. The day was perfect, too. Not to hot, not too cool. Just right.

It reminded me that the seemingly mundane, when viewed through the eyes of a child, is anything but.

Today

Sunday Afternoon

It doesn't get much better than the mid-80s, a breeze and having a boy who wants to go hit a few balls.

Girls' Night Out

A gal should always have some friends she can count on for a great night out on the town. A time for laughter, creativity, commiseration, good food, good drinks and more laughter. Five of my sweet book clubbing friends joined me for some pottery painting and an extra arrived for noshing at the fabulous Bamboo Club as a post-birthday treat. Although the invitation explicitly said no gifts, I was treated to some luxury slippers, lotions, new music, dinner drinks and appetizers--all of which are undoubtedly great--but, the camaraderie was second to none. With all that is going on in this crazy thing called life, I couldn't have asked for a better treat! How fortunate I am to be surrounded by such caring, compassionate, interesting and total goof-ball, crazy-fun women who can paint themselves some mean pottery and put back a fare share of wine and Asian cuisine! Post pottery glazing pics will follow next week!

Boo 2008

For all the sweet treats my sweet treat likes to eat, you would have thought for certain he would have canvassed the neighborhood three or four times and been ticketed with a cruising violation. But as it turns out, our little Darth Vader wanted to hand it out rather than take a handout. Maybe the first sign of a generous spirit or of being in charge. He took candy distribution seriously, following the one piece per person rule and refused to pass candy over to Uncle Scott who kept trying to sneak a mini Snickers or Twix bar.

We continued to be amazed by the number of kids who failed to say trick or treat or even thank you, and by those who did.

Or the number of adults not in costume expecting candy.

Or the number of tweens dressed far to sexily for their age. A gaggle of girls as trampy versions of Minnie Mouse, Cinderella, Dorothy and Sleeping Beauty were too much.

The highlight of the night had to be when a 7 foot Elmo came up the drive (which E loved) or when Scott confused a teenage boy for a girl (and no, the boy wasn't in drag or dressed up as a female character).

We ran out of candy by 7:45, ran inside, shut off all the lights and folks continued to knock and ring the bell!

The neighborhood was still teeming with residents and folks from subdivisions afar. E changed into his supercool Halloween t-shirt courtesy of Papa Jim and Gramma Lynn and we all escaped for some tasty Mexican food at our new favorite spot - Carolinas.

Until next year...

It's only taken me a year

...to find a centerpiece for my dining room table (after having purchased it over 4 years ago). It's a long story.

Anyway, after looking for countless hours at countless sites and storefronts. I have settled on something without actually settling and that feels good.

It also feels good to have something bright and fresh looking as we go into winter. Sure, it's winter in the desert, but it's winter, nonetheless.

Another Year

I am closer to 40 than I am to 30, closer to 50 than I am to 20. The time is going by fast, but I am so fortunate to have the people I have in my life and the experiences I am having - even the more challenging ones. They make a day at the spa and a night at a new favorite restaurant with some of my favorite people all the more enjoyable. The truffle fries don't hurt either.

Peek-a-boo Pumpkin

Gramma Kathy planned a fun day of holiday crafts for her and her favorite grandson. After purchasing all the supplies and setting everything up, his truly only wanted to play peek-a-boo. Gramma, on the other hand, made some pretty cute and festive pumpkins.

Getting Buzzed

Last night, or less than one week before E will be participating in a super cool underwater photo adventure (that only happens once a year and has been booked for almost a month), he decided in complete cold blood to cut off all of his bangs.

Do boys even have bangs?

As nice as a bang-less, jacked up receding hairline could be on a 4-1/2 year old, I had to intervene and bring some semblance or attempt at a straight line to his hair line.

After sleeping on it, I decided the only thing we could do was shave all of his hair off. I also decided to document his version of an extreme makeover and my version - courtesy of a trained professional (my hairdresser was kind enough to buzz his head for free). As typical, the before pictures resemble a mug shot and the after, well, better than a mugshot.


I guess the Before version isn't THAT bad. Just reminiscent of MadTV's Stuart. And the After shows that this could be a great look for him in the summer when the temp starts heating up. Or if he wants to reprise River Phoenix's role in Stand by Me.

Sweet Sophie Girl (1995* - 2008)

Friday afternoon we had to say goodbye to a dear friend. Sophie Girl was our first pet, our first four-legged child. We didn't know her background, hence the asterisk for her birth year. She found us in 1996 right before a fire at our apartment complex would leave us displaced the night before we were to adopt her. She was a rescue dog, abandoned twice before. Her coat was ratty and her bones jutted through at odd and awkward angles. But she had a smile and a spirit in her that told us she just needed love. We brought her into our temporary housing while we sorted through smoke damaged tupperwear and clothing and started sorting out our life.

She had some definite spooks, which we think came from her prior life. She didn't like the rattle pans made when coming out of cabinets. Overhead movement - like when we would repeatedly bump into the low-hanging light fixture of our temporary apartment - freaked her out. And when we decided it was time to get a house and not go back to apartment living post-fire, she was certain she would be of the items left behind. Like she had been before.

She started to learn that she would never be left behind, she was too special, too important. She became a Daddy's girl and a Momma's girl and took to her new sister Sidney really well, her new brother Sammy a year later not so well at first and her first human sibling E (almost 8 years later) tremendously well. Sophie was patient, loyal to the end, happy, well loved and a lover herself.

We will miss you Sweet Sophie Girl.

Batter Up!

Today we took E to his first ball game. It was the Dbacks vs. LA and it was an eventful day at the old ball game:

- E asked for his food the second we sat down.
- The Dodgers scored 3 runs in the first inning, the Dbacks didn't score.
- E asked for his ice cream the second he finished his corn dog and popcorn.
- The Dbacks scored one in the 3rd inning. The Dodgers were up by 4.
- A presumably drunk fan jumped the wall and attempted to run across the outfield waving his Beat L.A. sign. He was tackled and forceably removed before making it across.
- T took E to the play area as a diversion for the kiddo who wasn't really into the game. The play area had a line wrapped around it ensuring entry after at least a half hour wait.
- Returning to the seats, I was presented with a teary toddler who was angry at his dad, "I WANTED TO WAIT IN LINE. I WANTED TO GO TO THE PLAY AREA. DADDY WOULDN'T LET ME GO!" I have never known this child to wait for anything.
- After sulking into his seat, kicking his feet and continued rants about the play area, we left the ballpark in style.
- Dodgers won, 8-1.

The Big Day

There seemed to be just a moment of hesitation in him on this big day of change and new experience. Otherwise, he was excited and curious and ready to dive in at school. He wanted us to stay, of course, and hang out; but, he was more than fine when we said we couldn't.

It was me that lost it just a little bit as he hugged me and kissed my cheek.

Sunday

We had a busy day, this last day before a new school starts. A play date, professional pics done, and a few over tired tantrums. How is it that kids can go from deliriously happy to a puddle of tears in 60 seconds?

A highlight of the day had to be when E completed his first homework assignment - decorate a paper house and be prepared to describe your home during Monday's Show and Share.

E's house is full of garages, windows, his red night-light and one of our three dogs. He doesn't seem to live there. Nor do I or T.

Ditch Day

E's not even in Kindergarten yet, but today he had his first ditch day. It was to be his last day of daycare before starting Pre-K on Monday and I kept him out for a family day. He and I ventured downtown for breakfast at Matt's Big Breakfast, a quaint and oh so tiny restaurant that makes you feel like you aren't just one of millions, but one in a million. A place where they would remember you and know your name if you had the luxury of time and proximity to be a regular. It's just simple food prepared really well.

After breakfast, we swung back by the house to pick up T and take E to his first-ever water park experience. He LOVED it. I had my camera for a few shots, but had to put it away and enjoy the slides myself. He surprised us both after riding a few of the slides with the protection of a raft and one of us, with his request to brave the body slide (read: no raft, no parent to hold onto) by himself. I was thrilled he was willing to do it.

I watched my baby step into the pool of water and hoist himself up and look to the lifeguard for the go-ahead. He pushed off and it was me saying in my head, "WAIT! I am not ready for this! What if he flies off the slide? What if something HORRIBLE happens?"

And then I saw him bonk his head on the side of the slide at the first turn and then the water whisked him out of sight.

"Oh my God!" I thought to myself. "He's got a concussion and will drown in the wave pool!"

Let's not forget the wave pool is probably 15 feet long and 10 feet wide and there's a lifeguard in the middle of it. But I was crazed right now and all I could do was take my turn and get to the bottom of this thing as soon as possible.

I lay myself down, crossing my arms over my chest and free fell (or slid, I guess) down this monster slide. For a moment, I forgot my fear and just felt suspended, both quiet and chaotic, and yet completely relaxed. Then 8 one-hundredths of a second later the slide took it's last turn into a straight-away and I swear, I started sliding 300 mph. I crashed into the pool and struggled to pull myself up, catch my breath and make sure my bathing suit was still covering all the important parts.

It was then that I looked up and saw his gap-toothed grin and heard, "Let's go again Mommy!"

Them Boots Was Made for Wearing

It's not raining. It's not winter. In fact, it's hovered close to 110 degrees this week. Yet, E insisted on wearing his new Lightening McQueen galoshes from Gramma Kathy to school two days this week. All day, both days.

Sweet and Spicy

Transitions

In a couple of weeks we are starting a new chapter. E is going to Pre-Kindergarten. Seeing that he's been at the same daycare since he was 12 weeks old, this is kind of a big deal. We've been doing all the right things in talking it up to him, taking him to the school to check it out, driving by it every day as I drive out of my way to take him to daycare and chatting up all the new possibilities, friends, teachers and experiences. The pre-K will be where he meets the friends he will spend his elementary, middle, and possibly even some high school years with. It's a change that brings - for all of us - a lot of excitement.

It's also bittersweet.

At daycare, he met some of his very first friends. Friends he's been with for four years. It was in daycare that he started learning the social graces of sharing and not knocking your friend over because they took your Lego even though you wrote on their arm after you pulled their hair. It's where he started learning respect for others and how to paper mache a planet. It's where he became fully potty trained (and all the money we've paid for daycare makes that worth it!) and learned to take turns and that it's not okay to moon your friends or show everyone your penis while standing on top of the jungle gym.

It's also where I met other moms, who like me are working to balance (or juggle is more like it) a career and family, and could commiserate over the totally over-abundance of the words 'fart', 'poop' and 'booger' in our young boys' vocabulary. One of these mothers and her son, who became one of these first friends for E delighted me today with a very wonderful note - a walk down memory lane - of our two boys and their friendship over the past four years. It's been a whirlwind for them, for us too, I was reminded. The time goes by so very fast. While I can't recapture four years here in a few paragraphs or a few pictures, it can't hurt to try. Eand D have had a friendship full of laughter, birthday cakes, zoo encounters, train adventures, pool parties, park outings, and tears and hurt feelings and back to laughter. A friendship that undoubtedly has had positive impacts for both of them.

Nectar Sweet

Today we underwent Emerson's bazillionth swallow study down at the Children's hospital. Actually, this was probably his 7th study and his last one was so long ago that he certainly wasn't saying poopy-farted-head and laughing said potty-mouthed head off every time he says it. Amazing where nine months will take you in a toddler's life. Nonetheless, we were there at the hospital to test him after 9 months of challenging him with thickened liquids in the hopes of making it one step closer to removing his G-tube and one step closer to drinking normalcy. His last two studies yielded no change so the past several months of testing him with slimy thickened Kool-Aid and juice and milk and the like had T and I intrigued by the potential outcome or, dare we dream, improvement.

Well, it pays to dream.

Emerson improved an entire level, meaning we can now serve him liquids thickened to the consistency of nectar (previously it was the thicker honey variety). This means there's just one more level to pass before he can tolerate plain old liquids in their au naturel state. He also showed improvement when they tested him drinking milk without thickener -- it's just not totally safe for him to drink yet as he almost aspirated it into his airway.

After four years, we finally feel like this kid might actually outgrow this thing.

A Summer Sunday

Happy Fourth!

Top Chef

I guess my once-in-a-blue-moon cooking stint inspired Emerson. He helped me prepare dinner tonight and did an outstanding job. If Bravo is still airing Top Chef in 16 years, here's your winner.

My Stint as a Gourmet

We had some friends over this weekend - their first time to our place. Our kiddos swam and I decided to show up like a grown up and prepare a nice meal. No ordering out or taking them out. I would cook.

I had spotted some good looking recipes in the new Cooking Light that seemed easy, even for the meal prepping challenged like me. Not only were they easy, the were dee-lish. The kiddos were happy and the adults were happy. Here's what I served:

Sirloin Sliders with Shallot-Dijon dressing:



Grilled Peaches and Proscuitto over Arugla with Goat Cheese and a Honey Basalmic Reduction Drizzle:



The pics above are from the Cooking Light Web site, but I have witnesses who can confirm I made these and that they were divine. I can confirm it was easy cheesy. I also served some roasted red potatoes and all were a hit.

I may have to give this cooking thing a try...

Jump Into Summer

This Never Happens

But it happened to me.

I am on my lunch hour today, running into a store to see if I can find a swimsuit for my upcoming annual gal pal trip to Mexico. I figure if I confine the swimsuit shopping experience to a limited timeframe (under one hour) the pain will be shorter and the whole process can go from start to finish in a blur.

I walk into the store, admittedly not paying attention because I am annoyingly talking on my cell phone and trying to put my shades in their hard, protective case before tossing them in my bag. I hear, out in the periphery...

"Miss?, Miss? MISS!"

"WHAT?" I say startled at the angry tone I assume a sales clerk is directing toward me.

"Take this. I bet you can use it." Her lips scowl as she shoves a mangled piece of paper into my hand. She then storms out of the store.

It's a coupon. For the store I am entering. And it's 40% off a single item. Hmmmmm. I hang up the phone and dart for the swimsuit rack.

Only one looks moderately appealing off the rack, so I find my size and take it.

Miraculously, it looks good on even in the horribly lit dressing room. Hey that's good enough for me. I look at the price tag and it's $90. NINETY FREAKING DOLLARS.

I grab the coupon and start deciphering the fine print. Surely, the suit won't be covered. It will fall under one of the caveat categories as a special edition item. So, I walk up to the register and ask.

"I don't know if it's covered under the coupon," The so-pregnant-she's-about-to-burst sales clerk says.

"The suits are already discounted right now, so it probably won't take, but we can see."

I figure that's good protecting-herself language.

So, the initial ring up knocks $26.00 off the price which accounts for the discount the suits are currently under. I then hand her the coupon and as the red light glows over the coupon's bar code, she smiles. Another $25.00 comes off. Reducing the swimsuit by $51.00!! NO WAY!

Way.

I said to the clerk, "What's even more crazy, is I walked into the store 35 minutes ago without that coupon. Some lady shoved it in my face, forcing me to take it!"

"Oh yeah," said the girl. "She was pretty pissed off that we wouldn't discount the capris over here. But you know, they are a red star item and the coupon clearly excludes red star items."

When does the coupon ever include the items you are wanting to buy?

Today.

Today, it includeded them.

The New New Thing

It's little. You have to wait in line for 30 minutes in a small chic shop that's West facing (and we were waiting at 4 p.m. with the hot sun glaring down - God help them all in August) and you will pay $3.25 a piece. What are they you ask? Cupcakes.

That's right. Flour, sugar, eggs and butter and an oven and some buzz. They are all over the news now - Sprinkles Cupcake shop has done so well in the 90210 ZIP Code that they have come to try their luck just across from Fashion Square Mall.

I will tell you they are cute as a... cupcake. And moist. And tasty. And probably worth the experience once. But only once. Our girlfriend Betty (Crocker) can make up a pretty mean one too, for a lot less money and hassle.

But they are cute...see?

First Official Swim

We've been warm-tubbing in our hot tub the last few weekends; it's fun for us and Emerson sleeps like a dream for the night. But today, the boys officially took to the big pool in our first swim of the season and it's not even June!

Furbabies

Our doggies don't get much Web time or exposure, but they have been with us since just about the beginning. Sophie was our first Boxer, through rescue and as it turns out, she rescued us. We had just suffered a fire at our apartment building and were scheduled to pick her up the first weekend we were displaced and living with rental furniture. We debated calling the rescue group and saying we couldn't take her, but something told us we had to bring this girl some stability, despite being in transition ourselves. A few months later, we got Sidney through a coworker who's dog had just had a litter. At 12 weeks, she and Sophie bonded and they were like mom and daughter.

Sammy was unplanned. He was up for adoption at a local shelter and actually went to another family in the shelter's adoption lottery. But T stayed around after the adoption only to learn that the recipients other dog was not taking well to Sammy and that the owner said Sammy would be outside all day. T jumped in, offering a more loving environment and the guy gladly gave Sammy up.

Sophie's loyal to the end and the family protector. Sidney is the silly girl who likes to play like a puppy even though her 12-year old legs are starting to wimp out on her. And Sammy is the social king, buddy boy, at your heels and in your business 24/7. They have been wonderful dogs, welcoming friends and family and our very own two-legged child with wags and licks. I guess I am feeling nostalgic as they have entered their senior years. We aren't sure how much more time we have with them, but are sure enjoying the time we have.

Mother's Day

This year Emerson was really crafty, making ceramic plates for his Gramma Kathy (pictured) and Gramma Lynn (in OK). He had a lot of fun making a mess with his friend Lauren who made plates for her Grammas too.

I made out pretty good too with some designer shades and my first-ever toaster oven.

Driving Home Today

"I can snap Mommy!"

"You can?" I ask.

"Yes!"

"When did you learn to do that?"

"Well, I am all growed up. I ate all my good foods."

Bubble Boy

Silly School Daze

This week Emerson had dress up days at school all week. I remembered to capture the two best on film:

Crazy Hair Day:


Sports Day:


Although I actually like the vintage-y look I did for this one in photoshop better...

Gal Pal Time

It's official. I have now been to visit my friend A. in Connecticut after she's been here about 20 times (literally in the last 7 years). For never having visited she really played the host with most role either an effort to get me to come back or show me so much I won't ever return - ha!

Her generosity resulted in my seeing TWO Broadway shows - Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (with James Earl Jones, Terrence Howard, Phyllicia Rashad and Anika Noni Rose) in the third row! And we saw Wicked from the 8th row! I got to shop and snap pics in Grand Central Station, drive over the George Washington Bridge, eat the world's 2nd best pizza (seriously the owner won 2nd place in the worldwide pizza competition in Europe), dine on deelish quesadillas in New Canaan, eat fabulous Italian in Manhattan, walk through Times Square and see Rupert G.'s Hello Deli, buy fabulously frugal jewelry and relax and read. It was pretty divine and I will definitely go back.

Far-Flung-Family Fun

Our folks drove in from Oklahoma in mid-February and have been staying with us. It has been really great for Emerson to have some good, quality time with his Papa Jim and Gramma Lynn. They have been to his swimming lessons, read a few stories, had some good meals, experienced a handful of meltdowns, and seen what a big boy (and potential doctor - see below) he's becoming.

A Cautionary Tale

Running around naked is certainly fun.

Even more fun when you use your jammies to slip and slide with on the floor.

Not so fun is sliding into the wall and banging your head.

Monkey Love

Emerson can't get enough of his monkey slippers, courtesy of our good friends Ali, Dave, Will and Ben...

Geek Love

Valentine's Day came early for us with my first-ever successful surprising of T with tickets to see a live taping tonight of our favorite NPR Quiz Show: Wait, wait... don't tell me!

Hosted by Peter Sagal and moderated by Carl Kassel the show featured the Governor of our great state - Janet Napolitano and had celebrity panelists Paul Provenza, Alan Ferber and Kyrie O'Connor. We even got pix with and autographs from Carl and Peter!!!

While we may not have topped the list for most romantic V-day gifts (or hippest), it was pretty cool for us. AND if you tune in on Saturday for the broadcast in your local area, you may hear us laugh.

Happy VDay!

"Boting" on Super Tuesday

Despite originally being directed to the wrong polling place, I was able to cast my "bote" and Emerson was able to take part in a little bit of American history (and apply his own pronunciation of the process).